Comments on: A frugal dating site

By: Patty

Patty — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 20:01:36 +0000

So the funny thing is that the paperbackswaps link to The Tightwade Gazette was flagged as “Access Denied…classified as pornography” by the servers at my job. Good thing I’m quitting. We’ll call it partion ERE. I’ve saved up over a year of expenses so I can start my business and take care of the home but my husband is going to continue working to make keeping up the bills and saving for retirement easier.

By: krantcents

krantcents — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 16:31:28 +0000

I find it interesting in your details that a picture was absent! If this could work, it would require detailed questions, perhaps a hundred questions. There should be a weighting of certain questions for matching purposes. Level of frugality is worthless! It is the individual’s opinion. I think you must avoid opinions for this to work.

By: Felix

Felix — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 09:59:01 +0000

This seems very helpful. You don’t have to explain why you make your own soap and TP and save 75% of your income. It makes you interesting because you’re different, but being frugal is still against the common zeitgeist. So the preselection would help quite a lot, I think.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:12:24 +0000

@tracysimplylivinginspain – I disagree. A nonfrugal person living on $6000 a year would clearly live a very poor life.

By: tracysimplylivinginspain

tracysimplylivinginspain — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:21:47 +0000

How about ‘yearly living expenses’ as a statistic for the frugal dating site? That may be an even better indicator than ‘savings rate’…

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 20:49:58 +0000

I like the idea of having ‘personal savings rate’ as a statistic rather than net worth or income level. I think that’s really what is relevant for determining if someone is going to be on the same page with you for working towards early retirement or other life goals. In fact, the next time I sign up for one of the mainstream dating sites I think I will check ‘no response’ in the income section and say something in the profile text along the lines of ‘For the last two years my personal savings rate has been around 30% and I’m constantly striving to get it closer to 50%. If you can relate, we’d be a good match financially.’I think this would both discourage some of the gold-diggers and help get me in touch with some interesting ladies who were either on the same page or at least curious about what I was talking about.

By: Steven Austin

Steven Austin — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 12:32:47 +0000

Riveting idea on the surface, but I suspect it deteriorates on deeper exploration. Frugalists may be self-selected, but they are also do-it-yourselfers. I don’t see why Frugalists would outsource any part of something as life-critical as mate selection. So what you intend to be a Frugal Dating Site (it’s just a name, after all, eh?) would under the covers be a Frugal-Wanna-Be Dating Site.

By: Diane

Diane — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:46:57 +0000

@Jacob and @Alex –
You’re so right about the wait for The Tightwad Gazette, Jacob. That’s because we tightwads constantly refer to it for inspiration! Of course, I would never swap it or give it away. They will have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands first! I volunteer at my library book sales and in three years have seen the Big Blue Book exactly one time. Of course, I bought it for $1.
Here are a couple of ideas that might help you see this fine tome before the next Ice Age:
1. Check it out from your library.
2. Put it at the top of your frugal Christmas wish list.
3. Borrow it from a frugal friend (probably will require a large collateral deposit).
4. Go ahead and buy a brand-new copy. You will save enough to pay for it many times over. Happy saving!

By: chris

chris — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:25:40 +0000

I was once told there are two decisions you want to get right: Who you marry and what you do for a living.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:48:32 +0000

@Blogging Banks – This is why a frugal dating site would be useful. People are self-selected. Incidentally, I’m somewhat perplexed about the desire to avoid financial decisions that are strategically wise and instead spend too much and “too presently”. Is this an American thing? Is it an age thing? Is it a gender thing, like an expectation to be supported/kept?

By: Blogging Banks

Blogging Banks — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:40:26 +0000

I could kind of see why this guy is still single. I have heard a lot of ladies like Frugal Guys NOT

By: tracysimplylivinginspain

tracysimplylivinginspain — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:47:43 +0000

I think it’s a great idea! How many times do you hear about one half of a couple saying they would like to be more frugal but the spouse is not on board?

Frugality is a very strong indicator of personal values, and I think that a lot of these dating sites try to link up people by common activities (hiking, travel, poetry, etc.) when actually it’s values that can make or break a relationship. My husband loves tennis and soccer, I don’t – big deal. But we do agree on how to spend our money and raise our kids, and that’s a lot.

By: Kevin M

Kevin M — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 04:17:33 +0000

Wow, Paul is one of the few trolls I’ve seen on this site in year plus I’ve been reading.

Like Marcy said, seeing as money is the root of many relationship issues, I would bet a site like this would have equal or greater success than other dating sites.

By: tlblack

tlblack — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 03:52:11 +0000

I like it! I’m married, so this does not apply to me directly.

But I remember some of the things about DH that made me rethink my idea of never getting married:

He’d switched from a high-paying, high-stress career to do something that would leave him more time for family. I also noticed he lived very simply (no TV or other crap) but obviously was able to save his money to engage in lots of interesting hobbies that he enjoyed.

I think it’s important to find out if the person works and how much AND what he or she does with free time! But you’d need examples–they have to show that they actually do these things not just think about them.

I think you should have a short text or bio for each person.

Anyway, very cool idea. I didn’t exactly plan it this way, but life is much easier with both DH and I on the same page in terms of our relationship to work, money and consumption.

By: Marcy

Marcy — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:02:16 +0000

I don’t know how many chicks you think you’ll attract by admitting you’re cheap.

Not many, IMO.

Gee, how sweet of you to let everyone know how fond you are of women right up front. Takes the guess work out of it.

Considering money matters are one of the main factors in divorce, I think a frugal dating site is a fine idea. Lifestyle issues are VERY important. For casual dating, probably not, but if someone wants a long-term, co-habitating type relationship, you need compatibility in that area.

I remember a couple articles about tightwads being married to spendthrifts in The Tightwad Gazette. Amy (and her readers/contributors) all said that if you have a choice in the matter (i.e. you weren’t already married), pick a fellow tightwad. It’s too hard to get along otherwise.

I think some questions that require freetext answers would be nice. Maybe something along the lines of, “Give an example of a time you repaired something instead of buying a new one,” or “What frugal accomplishment are you most proud of?” People reveal more of their personality in their writing, so make sure there’s opportunity to express oneself. I need more to go on than just a picture and answers to multiple-choice questions.

By: Sam

Sam — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:41:51 +0000

The Simple Living Network forum has a Personals section in the discussion forums. It’s pretty dead. No one posts there. Could that indicate that there is a lack of interest?

Conventional dating services may be the only way to go because they have a high enough volume to give you some chance of finding a match.

On the other hand; Scientific American Mind did an article about e-harmony. If you went out with one match a month for 18 years, you would have a 50% chance of getting married. Maybe that’s not such a good idea either.

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:00:48 +0000

I don’t know how many chicks you think you’ll attract by admitting you’re cheap.

Not many, IMO.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:36:57 +0000

@Alex – I was actually trying to find a wiki link figuring the book was famous enough, but did not manage to do so. However, one of the search results was to paperbackswap. I see it’s on the wish list of 800+ other people, so it’ll probably take some time to get one. I’d estimate a couple of centuries

By: Alex Oliver

Alex Oliver — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:31:36 +0000

I love that you used paperbackswap to the Tightwad Gazette instead of an amazon link. Now I’ll probably actually “buy” it/put it on my wish list.

By: Mo

Mo — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:04:46 +0000

When I was looking, I would have loved to have known:

1. “How much money per month would you expect a me to contribute to you?”
2. “How much money per month would you expect ME to contribute joint activities?”
3. “How much money per month would you expect YOU to contribute joint activities?”

I’m not trying to imply a “right” answer to these questions, but I do think being on the same page financially is one of the more important parts of a relationship.