Thank you for the generous
$1200 stimulus package$800 Making Work Pay credit gift we just received from you. You know, traditionally it’s been the obligation one generation to help the next generation along. Parents help out their children, even their unborn children, by saving a little start up money so that the next generation has enough to start out when they leave the nest.
However, thanks to modern economics, it is now possible for parents to get help from our children and grandchildren, even the unborn. Our administration has engineered this by borrowing money from China and then letting you, our grandchildren, pay their children and grandchildren back. They thought it was a good idea and we hope you will think the same. It might seem selfish to you when you read this, but we think we deserve the money. You see, we got into a little bit of a bind.
Initially we had this real estate boom where our houses became worth more and more even though it was really the same houses. Some people got rich by selling them to each other and other people got rich by borrowing on their house. It was like having our own ATMs where we could just print money. Yet rather than spending the money on infrastructure, businesses, or schools, we used the money on granite counter tops, ATVs, new furniture and clothes, trips to Disneyland; most of it was bought on credit. The
$1200$800 would cover a fewcouple months of payments, though we might have to sell the ATV again.
Now I think it should only take you about 2 weeks of work to pay the money back. Well, maybe 4 weeks considering the interest, or 8 weeks if you don’t get a well paying job. Let’s make it 10 weeks because taxes will probably be higher to fund the social security trust fund we need to fund our retirement (sorry, we spent that too!).
So thanks a bunch,